I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
