you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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