We're like a lot better than the average bears
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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