Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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