absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize