I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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