I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
you had me at cake vodka
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
