you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
