I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
