I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you didnt know i had herpes?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
We were destined to go to rehab together
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
