god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
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I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
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You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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