You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
