dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
