i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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