Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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