I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
