Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.