i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
