I wish I could teleport
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is