hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
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just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
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took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10