Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
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