as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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