It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
