I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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