I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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