Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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