Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I just googled if crying burns calories
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
