ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
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My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
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So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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