mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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