She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
