Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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