the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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