I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
