Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You made out with two different species that night
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
