I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
