**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i can't believe i had my finger in that
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He has the fingertips of a God
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