how can u be prego again
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
