I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
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Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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