It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
