Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize