In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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