Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
