Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
