This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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