They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
