I am in a vortex of obligation.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
how does that bad decision feel?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
