Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
should my penis look like a turkey
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
