tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Randomize
