There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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