Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
