is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
