I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize