There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
this beer tastes like vomit already
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
