oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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