I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
