My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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