Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
