Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
