i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
