were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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