my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
