We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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