shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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