no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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