check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
